One of my sister’s favorite expressions when dealing with people who are rude is, “Wow, that person must have missed that day in Kindergarten.” “That day” of course referring to the day, week, months or years where that person learned their manners or lack thereof. Is everyone entitled to a bad day? Of course, I am not unrealistic. Should it effect others though? Probably not.
How can we change this? My sister enjoys making light of the situation, but for some it’s extremely hurtful to have their day affected by the actions of others; especially if that person is a friend or family member. I think that hurts even more.
The best answer that helps me in situations where I am dealing with someone who is being unfriendly is to pray for them. If it is a total stranger that may be your only option and then let it go to let God deal with it so it doesn’t affect your day or your heart. If it is a friend or family member in a continuously hurtful situation, you can do the same but also you have the right to address it with them. Too many times people start talking to others who are not involved in the situation and, of course, they are going to take your side because they’re not getting to hear the other person’s truth; just your truth.
Matthew 5:22 NASB says, “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”
If you address the issue with the person you are having the problem with, you are avoiding the sin of judgment on the other person. Maybe something is going on with the other person that you would have never imagined and they are hurting people because they themselves are hurting. Try to bring it up when both parties are in a friendly conversation. Explain to that person how much they mean to you and that they are a special person in your life, but (insert problem/situation) is affecting you.
There are many possible outcomes to this, but hopefully that person will reflect and acknowledge what they have been doing and then you have a path to mend that relationship. It may take some time for this to sink in for others and it may take time to heal the relationship. Yet others will not acknowledge what they have done or apologize for their behavior. In this case, it’s okay also. You have chosen to not only forgive them but to address it with them so it is off of your heart and you can make the decision as to whether it’s going to affect you anymore. In the game of sports, the “ball is in their court.”
Everyday we wake up with the conscious decision of this is how I am going to live my life today. We can decide to be cruel or hurtful or we can live like Joshua 24:15a “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Are there relationships that have you hurting right now? Surrender that pain to our loving Father in heaven and choose to forgive that person. It doesn’t mean that you let them back in to hurt you, but it is forgiving so that you can lead a healthy life. Hopefully the relationships will heal and you will have a better relationship than before.
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Kim Adams Morgan says
Hi Kelly, I’m stopping in from Works for me Wednesday. I love the kindergarten saying. I may have to use that. We do have a choice of how to live, and sometimes I forget and get stuck. Don’t we all at times. It’s easy to let others ruin our path to holiness; to imitating Christ. Thanks for the reminder.
Kelly says
Hi Kim, thanks for stopping in from Works for me Wednesday! My sister is so funny with her expressions; I love them! I truly agree and we all do get stuck at times. The difference is learning from being stuck and having the Lord direct our path. Hope you have a great holiday weekend and thanks for commenting 🙂
rachaeljdebruin says
The power of forgiveness is so HUGE in our lives! If we can learn to regularly forgive others (and ourselves) then we can live a much more full life 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing!!!
Rachael @ http://www.parentingandhomeschoolinginfaith.com
Kelly says
Rachael, I think forgiving ourselves can be the hardest part sometimes. I don’t think anyone is as tough on us as we are on ourselves but you’re absolutely right! Forgiveness is HUGE! Thanks for commenting! I’m headed over to your site now 🙂
Donna Reidland says
Kelly, I always enjoy your posts, but I wanted to let you know I have trouble pinning them to Pinterest. I get an error message when I try to pin them from my site. You might want to check it out. Donna
Christie says
Hi Donna! Thanks for stopping by and for letting us know of your trouble pinning. Are you trying to pin from the blue sharing buttons above the post or by hovering over the image? We’re not having any trouble from our end.
Kelly says
Hi Donna! Thanks so much; that means a lot to me that you are enjoying my posts! Are you still having trouble pinning the posts?
hopetoinspireyou says
Thanks for a great reminder on dealing with anger and forgiveness and getting rid of it! God bless!