So often we get lost or overwhelmed in all the demands of being a mom.
I wouldn’t trade the job for the world, but sometimes a mom just needs a break! We also need good advice and guidelines when it comes to being the mom our children need. Over the years I have learned and tried to apply the principles of these “10 Commandments of Motherhood.”
1. You shall spend time with the Lord everyday before your children wake up.
Spending time alone with your Creator, seeking His will and His ways, will supply you strength and wisdom for the days challenges. If mornings are not an option, find a time that suits you better. Just make it a priority every single day.
2. You shall not esteem or accommodate your children over your husband.
God.
Husband.
Children.
In that order.
3. You shall not misuse your position as mother by making ridiculous demands of your children.
Rules and guidelines bring structure to every home. Your children may not like the rules. They will challenge your authority. Stick to your guns. You are not to appease their every whim, but neither are you to exasperate them by endless angry commands. Encourage them. Praise them for a job well done or an attitude improved. As much as possible, keep a loving, joyful atmosphere in your home, finding a balance between work and play.
4. Observe a time once a week for the whole family to engage in an activity.
Let children take turns choosing and planning a weather appropriate engagement. This will help each child feel valuable to the family unit.
5. Honor your father, mother, and in-law’s presences in rearing your children.
Grandparents add a special family tie to your child’s life. Grandparents are also willing to share advice on parenting do’s and don’ts from their own parenting successes or regrets. Honor their advice. You didn’t turn out so bad, did you? 🙂 Thoughtfully and respectfully consider their advice, ultimately choosing what is best for your situation.
6. You shall not kill/crush your child’s spirit by degrading them privately or publicly.
Speak kind words. Is it really necessary to make a snide remark about your child’s behavior or are you trying to shame them into obedience? For myself, I’ve found that its OK to let them wear a mismatched outfit or have that hairstyle. Does their choice really matter or is it more about you not wanting to be embarrassed?
7. You shall not secretly or verbally wish your child was like so-and-so’s child.
Again, speak kind words. Never make them feel as though they don’t measure up. They have enough of that from their own peers. Don’t devastate them by stripping them of the security found in your unconditional love.
8. You shall steal a few moments for yourself.
Reread that!
Whether its sipping a quiet cup of coffee, indulging in a salon appointment, or hitting the gym, take some time to love yourself. You’ll feel better equipped to tackle the next demands of your day.
9. You shall not speak a lie to your child nor live a lie in front of your child.
Speak truthfully. Walk with integrity. Did you mess up? Admit it. Vow to do better.
“What we are at home, that we are indeed.” ~ Charles Spurgeon
10. You shall not love one child more than another child.
Playing favorites causes lifetime pain for your child and generations of separation in the family. Just don’t go there. I get it, sometimes your personalities clash.
The bottom line is, you are the adult. It is your job to act maturely and graciously. It is your child’s job to act like a child.
Guide them with wise words and a life that demonstrates the love and humility of Christ.
What would you add to these 10 Commandments of Motherhood?
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Sarah Ann (@faithalongway) says
I LOVE this post! It’s true and I especially love commandment 5, 6, and 7! May we remember these commands and practice them as part of a healthy home and spiritual walk. I’m sharing these words of wisdom today!
Kaylene Yoder says
Thank you for reading & sharing, Sarah Ann. It’s so important to live a right life in front of our children. Especially in our home. They are watching, observing, and learning as we do everyday life. How we respond to situations and to them will have a huge bearing on the paths they choose later in life.
betsydecruz says
These are such practical words of wisdom, Kaylene. I like #2. I find that it can be easy to do, but it’s not good for a marriage. When the kids are babies and toddlers, their needs sometimes take precedence sometimes over your husband’s, since he can take care of himself. (That was our modus operandi, and it worked great.) but as they grow and become more self sufficient, it’s so important to make your husband your priority! Even when they’re babies, it’s a mindset we have to cultivate, isn’t it?
Kaylene Yoder says
Yes, it is a mindset, for sure. So much of a woman is geared toward caring for her children, that it could easily become more important than caring for her marriage. Thank you for reading & commenting here, Betsy!
Jolene says
Wow! I needed this reminder today. In fact, I apologized to my daughter for speaking to harshly with her this morning after reading this post.
Clare Speer says
Wonderful commandments! Great post
mariewikle says
This is such a wonderful LIST!! I love it! We Moms need to be reminded of this and daily!
@spreadingJOY
joanna caldera says
Thank you this just inspires me to do more for my children than I have been. Teaches me to be a more loving & caring mom.