Please note: This post is not intended for those who struggle with homosexuality. If you identify as homosexual, whether publicly or not, I want to clearly say that you have not committed an unforgivable sin. You are not my enemy. I do not hate you. I do not cast stones. In fact, you and I are the same. We are both sinners. We both need a Savior. My desire is to minister to you. But this post is not that ministering post. This post is for those who do not identify themselves as homosexual.
I am writing this post as a concerned Christian, as one called to love homosexuals, my family, and my community at large.
As I watch the growing acceptance of homosexuality and intolerance for those who don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle, I have asked myself what we as Christians can do about this issue in our generation. What I share below is not a comprehensive list to be sure, but a starting point on how we as Christians can and should be salt and light in our current culture.
4 Things Every Christian Can Do About Homosexuality:
-
Stop being homophobic.
Homophobia literally means the fear of homosexuals or homosexuality. Granted, our culture wants to incorrectly pin “homophobic” on anyone who so much as disagrees with the homosexual lifestyle. That topic is for another post; for the purpose of this one, however, it is vital Christians recognize debilitating fear we do in fact hold in regards to homosexuality. Here are some of the fears I’ve encountered,
^ We’re afraid that homosexual sin holds incredible power that once tasted, is almost impossible to resist.
^ Christians are afraid that someone who is homosexual can never be “straight.”
^ Christians are afraid homosexuality is the sin of no return, that it is un-redeemable.
^ Christians are afraid to talk about homosexuality in the church because if we do, our kids might identify themselves as homosexual.
^ We’re afraid someone cannot ever fully leave the lifestyle.
Let’s be clear that we should be afraid of sin… of all sin, not just homosexuality. Our fear of sexual sin should cause us to flee it (I Corinthians 6:18). But let’s not give in to ungodly fear. It is ungodly to allow fear to grip our hearts (in this case, in regards to homosexuality) to the extent we shun those living in it.
It is ungodly to fear it’s allure and magnify it’s strength to captivate and define an individual to the extent we can’t offer hope to a culture bombarded by it.
It is ungodly to fear homosexuality to the extent we aren’t able to biblically help those in our midst who are confused about sexual orientation, love those who struggle with deception in this area, and provide godly, supportive relationships for those who are inclined towards same sex attraction.
And mostly, it is ungodly to elevate the power of homosexuality over the power of the gospel.
We owe it to homosexuals not to fear …because we have a hope and a love bigger than the lie they are believing.
-
Know the real enemy.
Do you remember Peter in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the night Jesus was betrayed? When the group of chief priests, officers, and elders came to arrest Christ, Peter pulled out his sword and lopped off Malchus’ ear. (Luke 22:47f)
Jesus said, “Put the sword away!” and after healing the servant’s ear, said, “This is the time when darkness rules.”
You see, Malchus wasn’t the enemy. Peter was fighting the wrong person, the wrong battle, and with the wrong weapon.
Church, our battle has never been against flesh and blood. Our battle is against powers and principalities, against rulers of darkness in the heavenly realm (Ephesians 6:12). Christian, homosexuals are not your enemy. Homosexuality is not your enemy.
Your enemy is Satan.
We will never win a battle if we aren’t fighting the right enemy with the right weapons. God’s Word tells us we have spiritual weapons capable of demolishing strongholds (II Corinthians 10:4-5). If the prayers of a godly man availeth much, what would happen if all God’s people fervently and regularly prayed? Don’t you think Satan would like us to do war with fleshly weapons and lop off ears in order to keep us away from the spiritual weapons that can bring down his fortress?
You bet he would.
-
Call homosexuality a sin.
One of the greatest ways Christians can serve homosexuals is by calling homosexuality a sin. Yet we are more and more wary of this because we hear cunning and convincing arguments as to why it can’t possibly be a sin. Not to mention legal ramifications becoming more and more menacing.
Perhaps the most convincing argument Christians are buying into goes something like this: “Homosexuals are born that way; so, why would a good God be so cruel as to punish someone for something He made them to be? They can’t help it!”
One of the tactics being used to validate this argument is the “young transgendered” sob story. Take for example the story of Jazz as told in the recent Clean and Clear ad. ( See the story at Huffington Post here and a Conservative push back here. )
Jazz was born male but as early as two years old, identified himself as female. We hear his story and think, “It doesn’t seem fair that a young boy must be punished for a desire to wear dresses and play with dolls and be a girl before he even knows his right hand from his left.”
“Wow,” we think, “this child really had no choice in this matter.” We want to have compassion on his situation, and rightly so. And we want to give this child and others the freedom to be who they are.
We owe it to him and others to do this. Right?
We do owe Jazz compassion. And we owe Jazz truth.
The truth is, our sexual identity is not our highest identity and calling what God says sin “sin” is one of the most gracious things we can do for Jazz and others like him. Why? Because as we have established, our enemy is Satan and the devil doesn’t play fair. He is out to kill, steal, and destroy and we must remember he starts from the time we are born.
If, in our desire to be compassionate and understanding, we redefine sin and downplay what the Bible says about homosexuality and the condition of the human heart, how can we ever offer the hope of redemption? There is nothing to be redeemed from. We actually render ourselves useless to help anyone.
It is the TRUTH that sets us free and the liberating truth of the gospel can only be received after we see our need for it….after sin is revealed as sin and we are exposed as sinners.
The good news is that Jesus came to give us life. He came to redeem us from the grip of evil, to deliver us from the domain of darkness.
Is it fair that a small child is born with such a compelling bent to sin? That before he or she even understands how to tie his shoe this deception regarding sexual identity is present?
Remember, God didn’t make us sinners; Adam took care of that. Let’s not blame God for setting standards of right and wrong or making us a gender we’d rather not be. God creates us male or female and God says it is an abomination for a man to lie with a man and a woman with a woman. That is the standard of a holy God and He is not cruel for setting it. He is righteous. Would we dare say it cruel of God to hold us to His standard when in fact we are the ones born into sin? Rather isn’t it the love of God that has provided a way of redemption out of our sinful condition?
Truth is, homosexuality reveals our depravity. We are all born sinners. We don’t like to see ourselves as utterly desperate, depraved, and hopeless apart from Christ. A young child in this situation represents each one of us, and is a reflection of our human condition. The reason we buy into the “oh, he can’t help it” argument is because we don’t want to acknowledge that each of us, in fact, ARE there. No, not all of us have gender dysphoria; but we each are born into sin and under the dominion of darkness and we can’t do anything about it. Homosexuality reveals each and every human heart to be desperately wicked and without hope in this world.
And we don’t like that.
The solution is NOT to redefine God’s Word and say it is cruel of God to call homosexuality sin. The solution is to run to the glorious Savior. Which leads me to the final thing every Christian can do.
-
Believe in and proclaim loudly the power of the Gospel.
The thinking that one can’t change certain things about themselves is understandable among unbelievers but it makes no sense for the believer. Why? Because of the gospel itself. The gospel is the power of God to change the entire nature and identity of an individual. Maybe you need to go back and read that again.
For a Christian to believe that a homosexual can’t change is to marginalize the gospel. And to elevate homosexuality as a sin one cannot overcome through the blood of Christ is to admit something has the ability to trump God. Really?
God is able to redeem anyone from anything. Does that mean God will automatically, say, remove all same sex attraction desires from a person and never let them experience sexual temptation again? Not necessarily. He could and sometimes He does completely remove temptation from our lives in a certain area. But more often than not, he trains us how to be warriors, how to believe Him, experience intimacy with Him, how to battle and be victorious with the weapon of His Word, to experience the sufficiency of His Grace.. and those things are done via the thorn of temptation.
For decades in the church, we’ve failed to fully explore how the gospel supplies provision for those who are tempted with homosexuality. This has been the case with many such sins we tend to be afraid of, particularly those sexual in nature. We are quick to give right verses wrong teachings but not so quick to lay the foundation of how the gospel- the message about Christ- adequately equips us to deal with these very real dangers. Overall, this has been a massive failure in American Christianity. Let’s briefly see how the gospel is the power of God for the homosexual:
- It is the power of God unto salvation. The gospel can convict a person of sexual sin. It can expose the depravity of the human heart and expose our need for a savior. It can then deliver the good news that we have a savior and His name is Jesus. It is the power of God that results in salvation, and redemption. (Romans 1:16)
- The gospel is regeneration. Every one in Christ becomes a new creation. Old things pass away and all things become new. Jesus transforms our very nature and sets us free from the dominion of sin, making us alive unto God. The gospel does so for every single person who receives it, homosexuals included. (I Corinthians 6:8-11)
- The gospel is daily grace. Grace to overcome sin and to live a life of godliness and holiness. (II Peter 1:3)
- The gospel opens intimacy with God. Being justified by faith, we now have peace with God and enter into relationship with Him. The intimacy sexual sin promises and the pleasure it holds is only a shadow of the substance of intimacy and pleasure with God. Turning from sexual sin does not mean we “give up” pleasure but that we gain it. God does not withhold Himself from us. (Romans 5)
I know this post is lengthy; nonetheless, I believe we as Christians CAN be pillars of truth to a culture that is growing ever dark. Let’s not fear homosexuality. Let’s call homosexuality a sin. Let’s use our weapons of prayer and truth in this battle. And let’s believe and proclaim the Gospel.
Latest posts by Arabah Joy (see all)
- 4 Things Every Christian Can Do About Homosexuality - April 28, 2015
Great article, Arabah! :0)
Thank you 🙂
I am afraid live and let live, God is love so is Jesus, I would never condemn anyone for the way they are, that is their choice, I don’t believe in judging someone, we should try and live in harmony. No I don’t agree, I think the bible is a guide to life, Jesus never said it, quite the opposite with sinners. I believe God made us that way so I accept homosexuals. So I would never speak out against homosexuals they are human beings who need respect just the same as anyone else does.
I agree that we should try to live in harmony with one another. This is a great point, Diana. I also believe the word of God is our authority on what is right and wrong. If it were left to us humans, we’d sure make a mess of things as we each have our own opinion! What matters is what God says. I encourage you (and others) to study the scriptures and make that the sole basis for what is right and wrong. Jesus does love us sinners…but that does not mean we are to continue in our sin or not call it such.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate hearing your point of view.
ANYONE WHO STANDS WITH HOMOSEXUALS STANDS WITH THE DEVIL AND THATS THAT NO ITS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT. READ YOUR BIBLE PEOPLE ESPECIALLY YOU ARABBAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ariel, homosexuality is a sin. I clearly state that in my article. What’s also stated in my article and, more importantly, in the word of God is that we are ALL sinners. Hatred towards homosexuals is NOT in the word of God, nor is it the heart of Christ. Christ came to seek and save sinners. Praise God!
homosexuality ,unlike other sins is classed as abomination by God.That makjws it worse.
Dear Diana, To further Arabah’s reply, Jesus always called sin, sin. When the crowd was about to stone the adulteress woman He gave her love and grace but said, “go and sin no more.” He called out the sin of the Pharisees and Sadducee’s many times, He pointed out the sinful heart of the rich young man by asking him to abandon his earthly possessions and when the young man couldn’t give them up, Jesus let the young man go. He didn’t say, well I love you anyway so you can be my disciple even if you can’t obey me. Jesus calls us to Godliness and is very clear in that charge. The world has distorted Jesus and only focuses on His unfailing love and ability to forgive which is only half of who Jesus is. We are to love homosexual’s but acknowledge their sin while acknowledging our own sin. We were all born with propensity or certain bends for sin; that doesn’t make it okay or right.
Blessings to you.
Excellent, balanced truth. Thank you!
Love you so!
The feeling is mutual girl. 🙂
Great thoughts, Arabah! Thank you for sharing this wisdom from God’s Word.
This was a great post, however, there is something I would like to add…I have worked over 25 years professionally with developmentally disabled children and adults. It is my belief-solely on observation and interaction-that homosexuality is a sexual retardation, for lack of a better term. I have known some homosexuals my entire life-they were born that way. I do not believe for one minute God caused them or formed them to have this issue, any more than I believe He caused those to be born with other traits that lead to strongholds. I believe they are a result from previous sins of man,mwhether it be mass use of chemicals, drugs, incest, malnutrition, etc. in the previous generation/s before. HOWever, I also believe this is something that must not be acted on and that the Lord can be glorified through. While it may seem trite, it is e same as those of us who are obsessive/compulsive, over eaters, alchoholics, drug addicts, complainers, gossips, lazy, selfish, and on and on-we are born with these tendencies, and if you are an honest mother, you know this is true in your children. In order for our lives to be the best they can be for ourselves and our Lord-the healthiest in all aspects- we have to overcome the strongholds through Him. Maybe this was a very long comment, but it was on my heart this morning. Thank you for allowing me to share. As I said, these are just my own thoughts/observations.
I agree, Tammy. The fall affected everything, even the way hormones wash over the developing brain in utero, for better or for worse. It really makes one wonder if we are truly accountable for our sin… and is it fair of God to hold us accountable when so many of these influences are beyond our control? I’ve thought through these questions on many fronts and keep going back to the word of God that says His grace is greater than our sin. He has given us everything we need to live godly in Christ Jesus. Because of that provision ( Christ Himself) , we are held accountable to recognize our need for Him and to call upon Him. Oh the grace of the God that has lavishly given us Christ! So thankful for your comment, Tammy.
Thank you so much for sharing these truths, Arabah! Our society is getting increasingly polarized – tolerance vs. condemnation. I think this is a great balance of the two, loving people without condoning their sin. Excellent post!
Yes, that polarization makes me grieve. Praying for our nation!
Thank you for this clear presice measure of the Word. I agree and it helps to strengthen my beliefs hearing other Christian teachings like this.
I’m glad you were encouraged Dawn. thanks for leaving a comment my friend. Love you!
Love this article…you are right on with all the points. Christ’s gospel is the only way to overcome sin…period. Oh, how I wish we would all believe that with our hearts, souls, and minds. And the only way to do that is to keep our eyes on Jesus…and stop looking around at our circumstances…the psychology of the world…events happening in the world…what’s going on in our daily lives, etc. We need to see ALL these things THROUGH Christ and His word and the biblical viewpoint. Thank you for sharing that viewpoint.
My favorite thing you wrote is that Satan would like to keep us battling with fleshly things so as to keep us from using the spiritual things of God to do battle. You hit the nail on the head. Keep sharing. 🙂
Amen Liza! Christ around, before, behind, above, and beneath. Trembling as I try to uphold such a Name as Christ. Thanks for your encouragement.
Well said Arabah. My sin is no less a sin than this sin. For too long church has had a ranking system of sins.
Yes, sister, I am a sinner~ we are all sinners. And thank God, we are the ones He came for! Thankful for you…
Thank you Arabah for sharing this in such a loving and truthful way. I don’t see hate, conmdenation or rejection at all, thank you for that. Those how believe and are under the authority of the Bible have that responsability to share God’s love and grace. We the people are not the ones who condem sin or call homosexuality sin…God’s word does. We either believe it or not. We have that responsability to share His love and truth and call what is sin sin. This is a spiritual battle we only win on our knees. This story below gives me hope…God is still working miracles changing lives like this man: http://www.christianpost.com/news/transsexual-returns-to-original-gender-after-relationship-with-christ-66932/
And so many testimonies of those who has been rescued by the mighty hand of our Savior.
Wow, what an encouraging story! Thanks for sharing that. Praise the Lord!
You always have just the right words:) Love it!
You have written the truth with compassion. Thank you for this beautifully written post.
Thanks Arabah, for speaking the truth in love. God bless.
Excellent! Thank you, AJ. Sharing via Facebook.
Thank you my friend 🙂
Thank you for writing this. I have found it heavy on my spirit because I see how people are capitulating to what “the world” is teaching. The Church must always remain distinct, but this is not what I am seeing. Speaking the truth with love will not always be received. So many with homosexual or transgender relatives are resisting the teaching that it is a sin, but would they also deny that adultery is a sin? You CAN recognize the sin and still desperately love the sinner. I also appreciate Tammy’s words for I have also worked many years with disabled people and I agree with what she said.
Thank you for your comment Vicki. It reminded me of a post I read on Desiring God about why the sin of homosexuality is not like other sins. It is really good: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-homosexuality-is-not-like-other-sins
Thanks for this, and I appreciated many of the comments, as well. It’s such a hard issue – not Biblically speaking, but navigating it with grace and love when simple disagreement is assumed to be hatred. Your words speak the truth in love. Thank you.
So true, Steph. Navigating, as you said, is tough. Praying the body of Christ is the aroma of Christ… always. And a;so realizing that does mean it won’t be *smelled* as a good thing to some.
My heat received your words of wisdom eagerly as I read this post. Recently, I lost a friend due to differing opinions about homosexuality. My friend’s daughter is gay, and oddly enough it was she not I who couldn’t maintain a relationship with lovingly held different beliefs about homosexuality. I miss her and truly loved both she and her daughter, but as a Christian couldn’t say it wasn’t a sin. This experience weakened me and I found myself questioning whether homosexuality is in fact a sin. However, reading your biblically wise and clearly thought our post has helped me to remember to place my faith in God’s word and know that sin is sin; even when we don’t want it to be. Thank you dear sister in Christ.
First of all i wanna thank you for sharing these articles. I really enjoy reading them. I am 52 years old and in august i am gonna get married. About 7 years ago i stopped practicing homosexual behaviour. I lived in a world of darkrooms and gay bars for about 25 years. The day before i really experienced a born again moment, that was the first day i was able to say no to a homosexual. Because a porn addiction, started at age of 5 or 6, and very strong rejection thoughts, it took a long time to come where i am now.
PRAISE GOD Ted! That is a wonderful testimony to the grace and power of God. Thanks SO much for sharing!
Thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate that we all have them and wish to share them with the world. i can see you truly believe this apparently well-balanced view. For me personally I consider this to be the worst type of view there is however, in all honesty. If someone tells me they disapprove or just simply don’t like LGBT people or their lifestyle, I can make up my own mind about them. And most likely avoid them in the future. But hearing preaching about loving people and accepting their ‘sin’ is basically saying that you love a person despite the fact that you consider a large part of their identity, a fundamental part of their being, to be something that is wrong. because sin is something that we should repent for. I do not feel I need to repent for my identity and my lifestyle. I have always believed in equality and inclusion. but this type of inclusion you are preaching is not inclusion at all. it’s still a shunning the negative lifestyle, just wrapped in apparently accepting words.
That being said, I respect that you have an opinion, I just do not care to read about it in the future and would prefer it not appearing on the internet for young impressionable people to read. All the best otherwise.
Mia, thank you for your comment. Likewise, I respect your opinion and am glad you felt the freedom to share it here. You are right that my beliefs are not “inclusive” to the extent I do not believe homosexuality is acceptable before God. However, I do not believe lying is acceptable before God either. That does NOT mean I won’t eat dinner with a person who lies… neither does it mean I’ll avoid having dinner with someone who practices homosexuality. I can accept both people as valuable individuals without approving of their behavior, even while knowing I have made sinful choices myself. Does that make sense?
I do not believe our sexual identity is our core identity nor our primary one. I believe each person’s primary identity is as a person created by God to know Him and experience union with Him. I can accept every person on that basis. I also must acknowledge that homosexuality (and murder and lying and a thousand other choices) are sins that keep us from knowing God and living from our deepest identity. I would be doing you and others a dis-service not to say this in love. God loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. But sin separates you and God. God has provided a way for your relationship with Him to be restored in Christ Jesus… but that cannot happen until you confess the sin that stands between you and Him. The one who loves you the most isn’t the one who tells you what they want you to hear or the one who sweet talks for what they can get. The one who loves you the most is the one who tells you the truth. God loves you most and He has given the truth in His word in order to have a real relationship with you. I hope and pray you hear His voice calling you today.
I’m happy to discuss this more in depth at any time. God bless you today,
AJ
Well said. The idea that who we are is defined by with whom we have sex makes me sad. We are spiritual beings, and therein lies our identity.
This is ridiculous. You contradict yourself and I believe you think that you “love” people of the LGBT community but you don’t. They don’t need your convoluted version of love. You say not to judge them but turn around and say the life they live is a sin but not to be afraid of it. Frankly, this mindset is toxic. I rather have you speak hate outright rather than trying to be tolerant because you’re not and generations from now you can be ridiculed for your narrow minded beliefs. Wrapping your words in a tolerant facade just speaks to your ignorance.
I am not a Christian, I simply try to live the best and most honest life I can, and I am a proud Pansexual woman (I love people who they are not what genitals they have), I think the message you are spreading here is misguided and harmful, if you are going by Leviticus for why man should not lie with another, then you really should read it over more thoroughly, there are a lot of other things stated that I am more than sure you don’t practice. From my experience of god his message is undoubtedly love, loving your fellow man for what ever and who ever they are, and not judging their lifestyle simply because it does not align with your own. God is omniscent (all knowing) therefore he knows who we are in our hearts anyway, theres no hiding who we are and who we love from him, (and anyway did god not ‘make’ us? Did he not make us who we are? therefore could god have not made me to be Pansexual?) God is also omnipotent (all powerful) if he did not agree with the LGBT community, would something not have happened to eradicate us? Instead our community is going from strength to strength, as our minds become more developed and more understanding of the world around us, and those around us (minds that if god did make us, god gave us) finally, god is omnibenevolent (all loving) therefore he loves each and everyone no matter their faults, after all to err is human, so, if it does turn out that god has an issue with whom I chose to love, I am sure he will forgive me, as I am his creation, just as I am sure he will forgive you for spreading such a damaging message.
Peace and love,
No matter your gender, orientation, religion, weight, height, – I’ll love you anyway,
One Proud Pansexual.
x
Chlo, thank you for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. I actually agree with several of the points you made, such as God is omnipotent and omniscient. However, I don’t agree with all the reasoning and conclusions you have drawn. Specifically, when you say that God is omnibenevolent. God does define Himself as Love (I John 4:8). However, He is also Just. His love means He is gracious and willing to forgive. But His justice means He also must punish sin. Take for example a child molester who preys on young children who cannot oppose, escape, or avoid him/her. Is it right of God to forgive the molester and let him/her go scot free? What about Hitler? Or others who have caused deep human suffering? If God is going to just forgive everyone anyway, why do we have laws? Why not do whatever we want for however long we can?
The truth is that God is just. He will not allow sin to go unpunished. Every sin that has ever been committed will receive a just punishment, from each and every white lie ever told to nation-wide genocides. There is only one way for a person to avoid the punishment for their sin and that is through the substitutionary death of Jesus Christ. This is where God’s love comes into play. His love made ONE and ONLY one provision for sin- His own son who died in our place, taking the punishment for our sin if we will by faith believe it. It is not everyone who will receive forgiveness. It is only those who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ who will receive God’s forgiveness.
God is a benevolent God, which is why He doesn’t smack people down the first time they sin. He gives each of us time to repent. But His patience won’t last forever. He wants you to repent and believe the good news that there is forgiveness for you in Christ Jesus. Will you ask Him to reveal Himself to you today? I am happy to pray for you and dialog more about this subject. God bless you, AJ
Thank you for this – as a mother of a 16 year old boy I defend homosexuals as Gods children while trying not to change the Word of God and it’s hard to find the right words. Your article puts it all into Perspective in a nonjudgmental yet firm way that helps to understand. We are all sinners in many different packages with many different issues.
Thank you for commenting, Mary. As a mom myself, I hear what you are saying. It is a balance- truth and grace. Thanks for loving your son enough to teach him both. God bless you sister.
“Perfect Love drives out fear”
In your article you stated we should “fear sin” – Jesus lives in me I fear nothing!
Would you be willing to examine 7 questions in the light of scripture?
BeGraceFull.com
Let the Journey Begin
That’s the site and the page to get the questions on – thank you and may God Bless you!
Hi Bob, the Bible also says “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” To fear nothing would mean you wouldn’t fear God… which isn’t scriptural. The verse you referred to (I John 4:18) of course is not referring to the absence of all fear because that would contradict Proverbs 1:7 and other precepts in scripture. Our use of scripture must line up with and be interpreted within the overall context of scripture, as well as the context in which it was written. We all must be students of the word and not throw pet phrases around because they sound good. God bless you as you study His word! Thanks for your comment.
I am seeking advice from my brothers and sisters in Christ about a situation I find myself in. My husband and I used to scuba dive and a group of us still get together once a week to watch a movie, etc. One of those folks is gay. He sometimes brings his “partner”. They both know that I am a Christian and know how I feel about homosexuality (e.g.that it is a sin). The kicker is that now that the law was passed to acknowledge same sex marriage, they have decided to get married and have asked my husband and I to the wedding. My husband is not a christian and could care less either way if we go or not. However, I am concerned if they keep pushing, that he might back down and say that we will go.
I do not want to go!!! These two folks act like they think a lot of us and keep going on and on about how much it would mean for them for us to be there. It’s like they are pressuring us to say we will go. I do not intend to go and I am pretty sure my husband agrees, but I don’t want to cause problems in the “scuba group” in the event this becomes a big problem for the two people wanting to get married? I know I am supposed to stand firm in my faith and not compromise but what do I do if my husband wants to go or backs down and tells the guys we plan to go?? (There is only 1 other person in the scuba group going). This is supposed to be a relatively small affair so they will notice if we are not there.
Praying for help,
Tk.
PS. I don’t even want to send a gift. What are your thoughts?
TK, Thank you so much for leaving your question here. You are in a tough situation and I will be praying with you about it. Truthfully, I would not want to attend a gay wedding simply because my presence would indicate some level of approval. I understand that is how you feel, as a believer who takes God’s word at face value.
So I’ll share what I would do in this situation and maybe it will help you think through the situation. It may be helpful, maybe not, but in either case, please know you are not alone. The first thing I would do is discuss it with my husband and explain to him that I do not want to go and why. I would explain that it is a matter of conscience and faith. Hopefully, your husband will support you in that, even though he does not necessarily hold the same beliefs. If he does not support you and decides you should go with him, I would submit to his leadership as submitting unto the Lord. In this case, I would go to the event. Personally, I would let the men know that you are attending the event not because you support their marriage but because you want the best for their lives…and that you will be there praying for their relationship with God, not approving of their “marriage.”
If your husband gives you the choice to go or not go, I would choose not to go and be ready to clearly articulate why. I wouldn’t necessarily go around telling people this but be prepared to in the event they ask. You cannot lie about it or back down from the truth. I would be ready to tell the man in your group that you want the best for him and you do not believe a homosexual relationship is the best choice for him. You can liken it to a child who decides to try drugs or some other poor choice… you want they best for the child and you know that simply isn’t the best and there will be painful consequences for those choices.
As far as a gift, my initial reaction was “no gift!” But upon further thought, I wonder if this might be an opportunity to give them a Bible? You wouldn’t be blessing the union but trying to bless them as individuals who need salvation… and in that case, this could be a great time to do that. Who knows but there might be a day when one or both hit rock bottom and they reach for that unlikely wedding gift and turn to Christ. Use every opportunity to do good, even while speaking the truth in love.
God bless you sister. Proud to be in this alongside you…
AJ
http://www.arabahjoy.com
AJ,
Thank you so much!!!!
TK
I respect your opinion but I do not think homosexuality is a sin.
You’ve done such a beautiful job of expressing that recognizing sin doesn’t make us “haters,” and that, as Jesus exemplified, we must heal sin (in ourselves and in the world) by loving our way through it, not by fearing it. Fearing homosexuality, as you so ably point out, gives it too much power, when the only real power is God’s. You are an inspired writer.
Now, to pop on my Ms. Grammar hat, you want “versus” rather than “verses,” and you want “its” rather than “it’s” when meaning the possessive. Sorry, I was born this way. 🙂