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A Lesson From Matthew
I wanted to start this out with a disclaimer that I am not a psychologist or therapist or an expert on the subject I am discussing below. I am speaking from my heart. If you have an issue happening where someone is physically or emotionally hurting you, reach out to someone who can help you. This can be a trusted friend or family member or someone at your church, and they can direct you to the right resource.
I have the privilege of being the first born in my family. I am stereotypical type-A personality but I am more passive than aggressive. I do like order to things but I enjoy peace better. It hurts me when I see people I care about, going into a path of wrong and unrighteous living. Many of us can relate to this from a close friend or relative living in a way that hurts your heart. If you’ve never experienced this kind of pain, praise God and I pray that you never will.
Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.”
In these verses, Jesus tells Peter to forgive that same person 490 times! Basically, always forgive that person. As a Christian, we are called to forgive, but how many times do we continue to let this person hurt us? The person hurting you sometimes does not even realize how they are affecting you. Maybe you have addressed your feelings about this issue or numerous issues and it always comes out the same. Here is a bit of honesty and it may hurt, but the problem may not be this person, it may be you.
I am not going to make a statement like that, and then not have it reflect on myself. Without getting into too much personal detail, I was speaking with my husband about what I was feeling, probably for the 490th time! He looked over at me and said these words, “Kel, when is enough going to be enough? How many times are you going to set yourself up to be hurt?”
Ouch, that’s honest! But he was right. Here is my husband, my best friend and the love of my life watching me hurt myself again and again over someone else who is hurting me, and it was hurting him to see it. He finished the conversation with these words, “I love you and I just can’t talk about this anymore with you. Stop setting yourself up to be hurt. You need to let this person be and let it go. All you can do now is pray.”
Letting someone go that you care about is hard. I can always continue to pray to God for this person but it was making me sick and destroying my day. At that point, I am doing no good for this person, myself, my family, or giving glory to God to handle this situation.
You tell yourself the next time an issue or situation arises with that person, than that’s it! And then you give them one more chance and then it turns into ten more chances. If this person has pretty much told you they got things under control, unfortunately you need to let them be.
Here is the deal though. I did pray to God on this and I had this hit my heart:
Matthew 7:6, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
This one person affecting me so much may not need my help, but there are millions of others out there that desperately need it. They need a friend to confide in or comfort them and let them know that everything is going to be okay. There are people lost out there looking for Jesus that you can speak to and help them discover His mighty love. I offer to you this same peace and comfort that you are worthy and needed. Reach out to others that would welcome your aid with praise and delight.
Sometimes the people closest to us can affect us the most, but you have the right to stand up and say, “Enough is enough!” You can do this in a loving way, but realize that your time, advice and counsel are valuable. Don’t waste your time on people who are not going to appreciate you or your efforts, and who are just out to hurt you.
Have you ever experienced someone doing this to you? How did you address the situation?
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Wow. What powerful thoughts you’ve shared here.
No, I haven’t encountered someone of this nature but I think praying is key. Also, to forgive someone doesn’t mean we allow them to hurt us over and over again. We do need to have discernment too.
Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
Thanks for hosting and allowing me to post on #SHINEbloghop, Jennifer! You are absolutely right. Prayer is key! Thanks for leaving a comment and hope you have a wonderful weekend as well 🙂
This is a wonderful post Kelly. You have shared some very powerful Words with your message. I so agree that sometimes we have to let go and let God handle the situation. Thank you for sharing with all of us. I’m so glad I found your blog.
Angel
Thank you, Angel. It is truly the hardest thing I have had to do so far is to let go but I have learned that God always does what is best for the situation. Thanks for commenting and I’m so glad you found the blog also! Have a great weekend 🙂
Forgiveness is so hard. Our emotions are all caught up and as soon as we surrender this, before we know it, the enemy reminds us and we take it up again. I think there are degrees of forgiveness. It starts with a choice but continuing to surrender, praying for the person for as long as it takes until emotions change and the hurt is no longer there. I find sharing with someone who can pray with me about it also helps.
Hi Lorna and thanks for commenting. Prayer is extremely powerful. God has forgiven us in our worst moments and I feel we need to give this grace to others in their worst moments. It is definitely a hard thing to do though. I think having a friend to confide in is a great idea on how to help with forgiveness. Blessings to you 🙂
Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes it’s hard to say enough when it’s your family. You want to honor your parents, yet sometimes you just need to forgive and walk away. Stopping by from #smallvictoriessunday
I am so grateful I stumbled onto this. It is something I needed to hear. It is so hard to let go, especially when it can be family itself that is hurting continually.
Thank you for this and these words so much.