I’ve heard a lot about “good parenting” versus “bad parenting” and “making the most out of your opportunities” this week.
So, I just wanted to share a little bit about our family. Specifically my husband. I don’t share a whole lot about him here, but I think the dialogue this week warrants a closer look at what it’s like to be young, black, and Christian in America.
Let’s just start out by saying, no amount of “good parenting” or “making the most of your opportunities” will ever change the fact that a black male is still a black male in America!
Q has made the best out of his opportunity by being the first in his family to graduate college, by moving on to seminary (he’s two semesters away from his MDiv), by becoming an ordained pastor (serving in ministry almost 10 years), and by living a law-abiding and bible-based life.
None of what he’s accomplished in his life matters when he’s followed through a store, stopped by the police, leaves the old lady trembling when he knocks on her door to share the Gospel.
Why?
Because nobody asks how great your parents parented you (we all have that down pat, right?) or how many degrees you have before they assume that you’re a threat.
This God fearing, seminary trained man of mine is automatically a threat because of the color of his skin. This loving husband and father, no matter how nice he dresses, is feared because of a racial stereotype placed upon him.
And me, I get the privilege of being his white wife! I get the privilege of walking into the store with him and going the opposite direction to try on clothes. When they follow him instead of me, that’s a (white) privilege I enjoy!
Nobody seems to want to talk about the white privilege, especially white people. Maybe because it’s such a privilege that we don’t even realize we’re privileged!
Sticking our fingers in our ears and our head in the sand isn’t going to make things any better.
But, I wonder? Do we even care that things get better or are we not concerned about it because their blackness doesn’t affect our white privilege?
It’s easy to sit back and be comfortable when things aren’t adversely affecting us. But Christ calls us to love others the same way he loves them. It’s time to start being the church and loving people where they are. Not second guessing their life experiences and pretending like there isn’t still a problem in America.
Until we choose to live and love like Jesus, nothing will ever change.
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Christie, you have been really brave in talking about your personal reality, I imagine it would have been difficult with such sensitivities at the moment. I am quite surprised at the backlash you have received. In all honesty it breaks my heart, especially the conversations between Christians about this trial and subsequent social media posts, it is gut wrenching in itself. Seems we all need reminding including me of who we represent in this world. When we speak without love or get harsh on the keyboard behind an impersonal screen, it is on display to those seeking Christ, they will not see His light. I pray that as we are refined and sanctified through this we do not lose hope or lose sight of God. Sorry for such a long post but there is something about your heart that people are missing completely and I pray God is glorified through your writing, don’t stop, because there are hearts that you are reaching on behalf of the Lord, I am one of them. Tara.
It is definitely interesting for you to be privy to that information and to hear your opinion about it …not everyone is able to see both sides of the coin but your unique experience enables that!
love this, Christie! I have been so bothered by all the racist comments floating around the web right now. It’s a fallen world indeed 🙁