Last night my sister called, with hesitation, and told me she was…pregnant!
The flood of emotions in every way is hard to put into words…
Joy for her…and many questions for me.
I am completely happy for her but I’m angry because my inability to conceive for the past 28 months is (for now) putting a damper on my happiness for her.
I don’t want to be sad…I don’t want to cry anymore…I genuinely want to be completely content with where God has me right now…but I am sad…and I have cried…and I’m not completely content…Lord help me and my unbelief.
I know that God has placed adoption on our hearts and I know that being in His will is where I should be happiest…but there are so many Why? questions…
Why is it this hard for us, Lord. It’s been 28 months…people try for 3 and that’s all it takes.
Why…Why…Why…Why…Why…
And I know He says, “It’s for my purposes and my glory. And in the end, you will understand. But, for now you are growing with Me. Continue to trust and obey…”
Ok, Lord. But, I need your wisdom, peace, provision, and knowledge that You know what’s best for our lives. Help me to continue doing what you have called me to do. And help my unbelief…
So, anyway, enough of my complaining. Please be in prayer for my sister and this life that God has entrusted her with. Give her a peace to know that He holds all things together…including her and her unborn child.
Pray for me…in all things…peace, understanding, and everything adoption…we are still attempting to save and raise money for our homestudy…
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Praying for you, Christie, & your unfolding story! :o)
I am so sorry…and so happy…
Praying for you and the LORD leads you on His path for you and your family.
Christie,
No words of great wisdom to share….just want you to know that I am praying for your heart…….
Oh sweet friend, I’ve been and know that pain all too well. Keep placing your hope in Christ. Allow him to use this time of pain to create a beautiful work in you, preparing you for the future that is to come.
Sending a huge hug your way!
M~
Praying for you Christie. I do know personally how hard that can be. It’s ok to ask why. I will be praying for God’s peace for you. Because you already know the end of your happily-ever-after story: God will provide (your chosen child, financial means to adopt, and peace that passes all understanding) – He ALWAYS does! Even David questioned God: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:1,2). But then he goes on to say, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” (Psalm 13:5,6)