He Said, She Said, God Said: Biblical Answers to Marriage Questions

I was given a copy of He Said, She Said, God Said for review purposes and compensated for my time. All opinions are my own.
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Several weeks ago Dan and Gina Trippie sent me a copy of their book, He Said, She Said, God Said: Biblical Answers to Marriage Questions. I’m a gal who is passionate about marriage, especially as it measures up to God’s word. So, I was really excited to dig into Dan and Gina’s thoughts. However, I was also skeptical.

You see, Paul and I have read a hoarde of marriage books through the years, sat through several marriage specific teachings, and even done time with a couple of marriage counselors. One thing we’ve noticed over and over again in our quest to have a strong and godly marriage is that Paul and I don’t fit into typical “man” and “wife” stereotypes that are always addressed in marriage conferences and books (and the differences aren’t minor, they’re major!). We’ve so often ended up excluded from the common examples of marriage advisors that we’ve grown to expect it. So, when I began to read Dan and Gina’s book, I wondered if they would address problems that fit the stereotypes or if they might offer something different to quirky old Paul and I.

The answer surprised me and refreshed me because I actually found a lot of wisdom tucked into the pages of He Said, She Said, God Said. I was relieved to read through the sections and chapters and not feel disappointed by those same old marriage stereotypes that I’ve grown used to. Dan and Gina chose a unique style for their book and I think it directly contributed to this book being a blessing to me. They wrote in sections, first his thoughts from his point of view, then hers, and finally God’s “thoughts” – a section based on scripture. While reading I was able to undeniably see each the male and female perspective of marriage, however Dan and Gina wrote with an undercurrent of teamwork that I quickly picked up on. I love this, because one vision Paul and I have for our own marriage is that we work together – never at war, but always pursuing mutual goals.

I want to tell you about another characteristic of this book that stood out to me. Dan and Gina included a skill in their writing that I don’t possess – they wrote succinctly. (Hey, give me a break! I’m a Pastor’s kid, I was practically destined to be long-winded. *lame church joke*) I was impressed that Dan and Gina seemed committed to exposing the Bible’s answers to core marriage issues without writing massive tomes of doctrine that no one would ever get through. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good book. And I love sound doctrinal teaching, but it was refreshing to be able to get some marriage answers in a book that isn’t overwhelming – cover to cover. In less than a 100 pages they tackled 6 common marriage issues without narrowing the answers down to those oh-so-specific-stereotypes that don’t fit every marriage out there!

I’ve already touched on one of the main things that I valued while reading He Said, She Said, God Said, but I want to say it boldly. Dan and Gina based their advice and answers on scripture, not simply on opinions. This, more than anything, helped me value the words inside this book. I write on marriage a lot and Paul and I are known to be passionate encouragers of other young marriages like ours. If I had to choose the most valuable piece of advice for marriage I would say this – search out what the Bible says marriage should look like, and follow it. I respect marriage teachers who faithfully back their advice on the Word of God rather than opinion.

One specific piece of advice that stood out to me in the pages of Dan and Gina’s book was the suggestion to find a mentor couple. A marriage that shows evidence of being focused on God, is a few years farther into the quest than you and your spouse, and who will answer questions and offer mentorship based on God’s compass. Paul and I don’t really have a couple in our lives that we can consider a mentor marriage. My parents have been something close to this, but Dan and Gina wisely suggest that a family marriage might not be the best mentor choice. This advice is the first bit of wisdom from He Said, She Said, God Said that I plan to pursue. I have a feeling next Sunday service I’ll be scanning the crowds asking God to help Paul and I develop a friendship with a couple who will model godly marriage to us.

It’s easy to get to a point in marriage and think you are settled, permanent, arrived. It can be a pretty nasty trap. When Paul and I married, the general consensus of his family (and some of mine) was that we would never make it and divorce was surely in our future. Paul and I, fiercely in love, determined that we would never divorce. We’ll celebrate 7 years of marriage soon and can I tell you, honestly, how often I have struggled with pride about our “success,” pride that our marriage has lasted way longer than the bets family members placed at our wedding reception. How dangerous! God wants marriages to survive and thrive and glorify Him (another topic Dan and Gina address beautifully). Satan wants marriages to crash and burn. I implore you – as I push myself – take Dan and Gina’s advice. Pick up a copy of their book and as many other well-recommended marriage books you can find and assess your marriage according to God’s word. Whether your marriage is on the rocks, or looking pretty healthy, be proactive in your quest to have a lasting godly marriage.

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Shirley spends her days fulfilling her purpose of biblical homemaking and motherhood. She is wild about her husband, Paul, who shares her passion for encouraging young marriages. Together they are wading into a homesteading life on a few acres in south Georgia.

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