20 Ways to Encourage Your Spouse

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How to Encourage Your Husband or Wife

Wanna know how to make your man smile? Want to be an encouragment for your spouse? Here are 20 fabulous ideas to get you started as you lift up your husband or wife. From Satisfaction Through Christ

Life is busy, hectic and extremely demanding.  If we aren’t careful, we’ll let stuff get in the way and neglect the truly important things and people in our life.

Encouragement goes a long way and usually doesn’t cost a dime.

We are good at encouraging others at work, church and even friends and family but what about our spouses?

Here are 20 ways to encourage your spouse:

  1.  Sex/Cuddle – Yep – you knew I was going to go there first. Ladies, nothing has changed since you married your guy.  Guys – same for you, we love being held with no expectations of anything else.  Having a happy mixture of both of these elements is huge for both husband and wife.
  2. Encouraging Notes – Leave a note in your spouse’s Bible, lunch box or somewhere that they frequent during the day.  It doesn’t have to be a long sonnet or poetic, just heart felt.  Now, if you are good at writing those amazing poems we sappy spouses love to get, then by all means do so.
  3. Help – Helping each other around the home puts things into perspective.  Ladies, ask for help but don’t complain “how” he does it.  Just be thankful he does.  Guys offer to help, knowing that we NEED you to and want you to.  Ladies, if it’s something high up, ask your guy to help you and then make a cute comment about the “view” right in front of you.
  4. Do little Things for him/her – Make their coffee for them. If you are fixing yourself something to drink, ask if they want something.  Pick up their favorite treat next time you are at the store.
  5. Support their dreams and inspire them to reach their goals.
  6. Have a lunch date at work.
  7. Make their favorite dessert.
  8. Find something new that you both love to do and enjoy it together.
  9. Be kind and affectionate – a little kindness goes a long way. Speak kindly of and to your spouse. Hold hands, kiss goodnight.
  10. Show Gratitude as often as you can for all that you can.
  11. Ask him/her out – I still get all kinds of giddy when the Mr. calls me up and asks me out on a date.  I know he has planned it and all I have to do is show up.
  12. Pray for him/her and let them know you are doing so!
  13. Communicate better – Ladies, your guy isn’t a mind reader.  Guys, your lady needs to hear and be reminded of the love you hold for her in your heart.
  14. Do nothing together – Seriously, having some down time together, just chatting and doing nothing for a little bit is super refreshing.
  15. Compliment them on a job well done – you never know what a kind word will spark.
  16. Send a sweet text – one of the other contributors created some texts that you can use to send to your sweetheart. Check it out here!
  17. Laugh together – Watch funny videos or movies, but do something that will make you laugh together.
  18. Love Unconditionally – love BIG and unconditionally.  In doing so, you’ll be teaching your children what to look for in a spouse.
  19. Give them a note listing some of the things you love about them.  The Mr. and I were having a bit of a rough patch and for a while all I could see was what he didn’t do anymore.  I took the list of those things, turned it into what I loved that he used to do and gave it to him on nice laminated cardstock.  He thought I had purchased it until he got down to the part about how I loved the fact he wears cologne just for me.  He prefers not to wear it, but knows I love it.  This prompted him to start doing some of the things I truly treasure.  To encourage you, he graciously allowed me to publish that here:  The Priceless Things I love about you.
  20. Say I love you – often and then show them.

How do you encourage your spouse? What would you include?

Is there anything special that your spouse does for you that you want to share?

For me – the Mr. always keeps a check on the gas in my car.  He knows that I hate pumping gas, so a few times a week he will check the fuel gauge on my car and if it needs it, he will take it and fill it up for me.

If he has been busy, all I have to do is ask and he’ll do it.  It’s HUGE to me that he does this.


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Looking for more marriage posts? Here are a few favorites:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Honoring Your Husband
How To Dehumanize Your Husband
30 Text Messages For Spouses
Marriage Maintenance: 5 Tips to Sustain a Healthy Marriage

And these are a few great Christian resources on marri


Encourage your spouse daily with these tips from Satisfaction Through Christ!

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Wife, mother and I am a lover of the million little things that make life BIG! I love old books, hot coffee, the laughter of children and the priceless hugs that mean more than anything. While looking through the eyes of compassion and understanding the heart that desires to have an impact, Marie encourages others to see the full potential of the everyday, ordinary resources that is right within their reach. Everyone needs to make a difference and with creative thinking and a unique look at the ordinary; she shows people all over the world just how easy it is to make a difference. Every act of joy that you do, regardless of the size, has the potential to have a limitless ripple effect. You never know where your act of joy will end up. You, the giver, are splashed with joy as you make a difference! God’s Joy is for everyone!

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  1. says

    What a great list and something everyone needs to do. I think we forget to appreciate each other sometimes. My husband and I have been married for 23 years. He still opens doors for me. He has passed that on to our son who learned it just from watching. Thank you for linking up to Tips and Tricks. We hope to see you again.

    • says

      I love that your son has picked up on that. I used to take my now 23 yr old son on mother/son dates – using that time depending on his age to discuss how to treat others, girlfriends etc. thanks for the smile

  2. says

    Love this list 🙂 We are the same with the gas, but mine is more because I get nervous and have run into a few poles! Hubby is also really great at going along with my hair-brained ideas, even if he thinks they won’t work. He is super supportive, no matter what. It’s only fair I return the courtesy, and that’s when I end up watching marathons of sci-fi documentaries….lol! Thanks so much for sharing, and your post is featured in tonight’s What’d You Do This Weekend. Pinned!

    • says

      thanks Ashley. this made me laugh because this is how we are – i’m crazy and always stepping out trying things and he is more reserved, watching and usually knows when things will work and won’t work. I would love the sci-fi marathons, but his is usually nature or car shows. 🙂 thanks for the smile and the feature in What’d you do this weekend!

  3. says

    Yes! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in other parts of our lives and forget the person God has given to us to love and cherish. Thanks for linking up at Gingerly Made. I’m featuring you later today. Hope you’re having a great week!

  4. says

    Marie! What a great list. I’m pinning this and will share on facebook later this week. I especially like #3: when he doesn something around the house, DON’T complain about how he does it. Oh, I’m guilty of that one.

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