20 Absolutes for a Happy Marriage

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20 Absolutes for a Happy Marriage

Christian Marriage

Marriage – the best of times, the worst of times. 

So much joy and love, yet sometimes due to our human nature, we lash out so harshly at the ones we love the most, creating so much pain.
My Son will be getting married today (4/12/2014) and my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary in October, so I wanted to give some advice to the happy couple, because no matter what stage of marriage you (we) are in, the following will always apply.
1.    Keep the Lord first – without Him, nothing works
2.  Keep your spouse second – children grow up and go on their own journey, your spouse will be with you after they’ve left the nest 
3.  Keep your children and family third – yes, ministry is important and I’m 100% for it, but if you place your ministry before your children and your family, then they will likely walk away from the Lord.  Find a healthy balance and always…always make time for family.  (Jesus always makes time for His children.)
4.  Always kiss goodnight
5.  Hold hands as much as possible
6.  Read the Bible and pray together as often as possible
7.  Continue to date long after the wedding vows have been spoken
8.  The treats, treasures and surprises your spouse loved before the wedding – they still love today
9.  Be willing to forgive…and often.  Hurt is part of the process, just like love, joy and compassion.
10.  Have meals together as a family around the table and talk.  We had a no phone during dinner rule, I suggest you establish one as well.
11.  Have some time with friends.  Don’t go overboard, but still enjoy just some girl time and guy time.
12.  Have fun – yes, be serious when necessary, but do fun, random and silly things.
13.  Point out the amazing, wonderful qualities about your spouse…and do so often
14.  Do things without expectations.  Imagine if BOTH of us did this.  Complete JOY
15.  Pray for your spouse.  Even when you are angry, hurt or mad and especially when you aren’t. You absolutely cannot stay mad at someone you are praying over daily
16.  Dream together.  Make plans for the future.  It could be a nice vacation or a weekend getaway.  Plan something together that you’ll both enjoy doing.
17.  Speak kindly of your spouse.  If you are always speaking well of them, then you are always thinking well of them.
18.  Don’t compare.  This is true about anything.  One of my favorite quotes is “comparison is the thief of Joy.”  Don’t do it.
19.  Don’t assume.  Ladies, stop assuming your hints were dropped so well your husband can’t miss it.  Men, if you don’t know….ask. Keep in mind that neither husband or wife are mind readers.
20.  Marriage is a combination of sacrifice and commitment. Commit to it, be willing to make some sacrifices along the way and watch how God can use your relationship to help inspire and encourage others.
*BONUS* – Sex and romance are two very different, yet very necessary things.  Both men and women should do their part to make sure their spouse is pleased in this area.

These are just a few things that will help keep our relationships strong.

What would you add? What are you doing to keep your marriage strong?
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 And these are a few great Christian resources on marriage!

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Wife, mother and I am a lover of the million little things that make life BIG! I love old books, hot coffee, the laughter of children and the priceless hugs that mean more than anything. While looking through the eyes of compassion and understanding the heart that desires to have an impact, Marie encourages others to see the full potential of the everyday, ordinary resources that is right within their reach. Everyone needs to make a difference and with creative thinking and a unique look at the ordinary; she shows people all over the world just how easy it is to make a difference. Every act of joy that you do, regardless of the size, has the potential to have a limitless ripple effect. You never know where your act of joy will end up. You, the giver, are splashed with joy as you make a difference! God’s Joy is for everyone!

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  1. says

    You have given so many beautiful and true thoughts! I would add to your #12 to continue to flirt with your spouse. Even not-so-newlyweds can learn from your list. I am stopping over from the Let’s Get Real Party. 🙂

  2. says

    @LuAnn thank you- prayer is mighty and truly works wonders in a marriage!

    @sarah & @sarah L. – thank you so much for stopping by! i pray it encourages you and others you share it with

    @Candy -thank you! it was an amazing ceremony!

    @reidland family – this is true. neither my husband or I lock down our phones and keep things open and honest.

    @carol – acknowledgement is HUGE – and I love the fact my husband fills my car up with gas for me. i hate doing it and he has done this for me for years! – i would also add not to criticize HOW they do something. the fact is that they are DOING it… you don’t have to, so don’t complain how they are getting it done.

    @Bonny yes – flirting is such fun!! especially when the MR is smelling all kinds of ahhhmaaazing! my goodness!

    @Jill – thank you!! so much!

    {{HUGS}} yall -thanks for adding to this conversation! We appreciate it so much!


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